|
|
Points to Ponder
Can you relate to any of these?
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think,
'well, that's not going to happen.'
While playing a poker game, if you look around the table and can't tell who the
sucker is--- it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have
paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about
seeing UFOs like they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman
is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a
bunch of liars.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial
tax cut save you thirty cents?
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize it
bears a very close resemblance to the first.
There's a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the
Universe is for & why, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something
even more bizarre & inexplicable. There's another theory which states this has
already happened.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box
to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and
he says, "I wish you'd come in sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they
hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now,
compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and these people
are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!
author unknown
