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The
following are actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers:
Illiterate?
Write today for free help.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery.
Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child.
Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of
children.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be
willing to travel.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
3-year old teacher needed for pre-school.
Experience preferred.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head
illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef
$2.25; Children $2.00
For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with
thick legs and large drawers.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and
get an extra pair to take home, too.
Great Dames for sale.
Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family
appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come
here first.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-
to-find person.
Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not
smoke or drink.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the
tops.
And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size,
unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in
your home for $1.00.
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